From: Clay Stromberger <cstromberger(a)mail.utexas.edu> Reply-To: <weeklong-l(a)lists.wikimedia.org> Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2010 09:44:13 -0500 To: <weeklong-l(a)lists.wikimedia.org> Subject: Re: [Weeklong-l] Pillows and Cases I think the news item below may hold the answer. I was poking around on the Brenham Banner-Press website for any leads and found this article: NEWS Print | E-mail | Comment (No comments posted.) | Rate | Share | Text Size Austin County Pillow Bandit Strikes Again Published: Thursday, August 19, 2010 11:59 AM CDT (AP) SHELBY, TEXAS The Austin County Pillow Bandit has struck again, according to the Austin County Sheriff's Department. The nefarious pillow-pincher worked his or her fiendish magic sometime late Sunday night, lifting 121 pillows and matching cases from bed and breakfast locations all along the Hwy. 1457 corridor, according to Sheriff's Dept. spokesperson John Naps (lately of "Grease," the Shelby Community Players summer production). "They're just gone," Naps said, standing outside the Shelby Inn, slowly shaking his glistening black pompadour. "How he or she coulda got away with it, we just don't know. We had deputies at checkpoints all along 1457, disguised as farmers with pitchforks, watching for trucks piled with pillows in the back and covered by a big tarp. Oh, I guess I wasn't supposed to tell you that part. Can you leave that part out when you print the story?" The feather-filcher left his or her calling card, according to Deputy Cicely Hackett: a small white glove with the letter "P" monogrammed in sequins on the top. "We've got dozens of them by now, but they're of no use, because they're all left-handed gloves," Hackett complained, hinting slightly while slipping one of the gloves onto her dainty left hand that the occasional right-handed glove would be appreciated. Only one victim has caught a glimpse of the ACP Bandit during its spree of softness; they reported seeing a dashing figure wearing a mask, cape, t-shirt and tights of all white. Shelby Police Deputy Barney Fife's theory, widely known and hooted at in the community, is that the Bandit wears all white to hide the case-less pillows he clutches to his chest as he walks to his getaway truck, reportedly a white Peugeot convertible. For the most part there was nothing special about the pillows that were reported stolen, said one B&B owner, who wished to remain anonymous. "They were just, you know.... pillows." The owner was considering branding her pillows to discourage future pilfering, or possibly requiring visitors to rent pillows from a "pillow store" at no extra charge. "That way you could choose the kind you like, you know -- soft and fluffy, flat and brick-like, you name it," the owner said brightly, while chain-smoking Marlboro Lights and admitting privately she was attempting to make the best of a very difficult time for the entire community. Another owner, quite eager to be quoted by name, took a very different tack. Waving a shotgun in the air outside his Cattledrive Country B&B outside Warrenton, owner Cecil B. Hardstock growled that the theft was "nothin' but piller rustlin'" and that frontier justice might be in order. "If I catch him crawlin' through my winder, BLAM, the feathers are gonna fly!" The most daring theft was the Aug. 13 purloining of an antique French tapestry throw pillow that lay underneath the sleeping head of one Mrs. Wilbert N. Nitsche of Industry, who still has "a neck crick," according to her husband, the town bailiff. Suspicion immediately fell upon a group of visiting Shakespearean players -- the 2010 reunion class of the University of Texas Shakespeare at Winedale program, housed at the Shelby Inn -- due to their known proclivity for walking around with pillows stuffed under their shirts and impersonating 16th-century tavern-dwellers. But eyewitnesses from the ensemble's Saturday performance at Winedale reported that the most likely suspect, Craig Hurwitz, who portrayed the oft-pillow-festooned Falstaff in one scene, was actually "really buffed up and pretty damn good-looking for his age." Several of the onlookers were last reported seeking a way to get Mr. Hurwitz's cell number. As to what the Pillow Bandit might be doing with all those pillows, there are all kinds of wild theories from local children (including "building the World's Largest Pillow") and cultural historians (it's a radical action designed to challenge people to return to the Arts and Crafts Movement by forcing them to construct their own pillows by hand), but no hard evidence, or even soft evidence, said officer Henry Pimpernell, who has been working the case doggedly for months, often on no or little sleep, as his pillow was taken in the early days of the Bandit's fluffy frolic. "All we know is that those pillows vanished just as completely as the reference to my name did in the Induction Scene from 'Taming of the Shrew' at the Winedale play last Saturday," Pimpernell said. "Did anyone else notice that? Other than cutting me out, I'd say those young people did a pretty good job, though maybe they went a bit heavy on the hair white in some scenes." On a side note, according to Dept. linguist Just S. Shallow, the word "pillow" has an interesting origin. "It comes of the old Dutch 'pe-luwwww,' which comes of the old Latin 'pulvinus,' which means 'cushion.' A very good phrase." Local citizens are urged by law enforcement officials to keep a close eye on their head-rests of all kinds and lock all doors and windows and call 911 if they see any suspicious persons with "large lumpy bellies and spirit-gum beards," according to Deputy Fife, who was last seen stepping wild-eyed into an extra-large down-stuffed pillow costume inside a local B&B and asking garage mechanic Gomer Pyle to zip him up inside. On Aug 20, 2010, at 7:29 AM, Bruce Meyer wrote: Clayton Stromberger Outreach Coordinator, UT Shakespeare at Winedale College of Liberal Arts, University of Texas at Austin www.shakespeare-winedale.org cell: 512-228-1055, cell #2 (backup): 512-363-6864 UT Sh. at W. office: 512-471-4726 _______________________________________________ Weeklong-l mailing list Weeklong-l(a)lists.wikimedia.org https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/weeklong-l